Nasty Is As Nasty Does

I know the title of this writing is somewhat bizarre, but let’s see where the thought takes us.  The word nasty implies filth and uncleanness or it could mean morally offensive and cruel.  It is the opposite of clean and pure or wholesome and unadulterated.

When I wasn't serving God, my desires, goals, and aspirations were tainted with the pollution of Satan’s play yard.  I was very much acquainted with this toxic influence, yet, not really feeling quite at home in its surroundings, because of the battle that was going on inside me—good vs. evil.

The backdrop of my environment was not conducive to decency or favorable influences.  It was a cesspool of indulgence and transgressions against God.  My speech was filthy and my disposition and temperament were just as nasty. 

I disliked most people that I met and repelled anything that resembled wholesomeness and purity, because these things revealed clarity to my mind, which were the things lacking inside of me.  I refused to face the true nature of my circumstances by closing myself away from such things.

On occasion, when I looked into the mirror, I peered deeply into my eyes trying to figure out the person looking back at me.  All I saw was the nasty person that I had become, but something more was revealed; I saw unrest with a splash of hopelessness even though my personality was strong, or perhaps I should say, headstrong.

If I couldn’t do a certain thing it couldn’t be done.  I was very confident in my abilities to achieve something that I set my mind to do.  And I was quite independent.  My strength was my power, but it was camouflaged under a beard and biker clothes, which served as crutches to help convey my rebellious spirit.   

My appearance spoke, “hoodlum” when anyone saw me; not that all bikers are thugs by any stretch of the imagination.  I am talking about me, only; on a personal level.  This was the persona that I desired to portray.  I wanted people to think of me as rough; without feelings, and I did not care whose toes I stepped on to show it.

I was doing things that were nasty and unacceptable in most circles, especially in the eyes of the law, but I couldn't care less.  I had a rebellious heart of stone, but in the hidden corners of my mind were the teachings of a Christian mom and dad that tried to raise me with values and a love for God.

The farther I walked away from the teachings of my youth the nastier I became in thought and appearance.  Even my countenance revealed the bitterness inside.  The statement “nasty is as nasty does” followed me down this dark path that I had chosen; not caring who I hurt in the process.  

The truth of the matter is that the one person I was hurting most was myself, mentally and physically; and let us not forget the spiritual distress that was going on inside me. 

It was a wide road to destruction that I was traveling, but I was too busy having fun and too much into myself to realize what I was really searching for was not self-governing independence, it was God that I needed.  He was ready and willing to satisfy the deep longing in my heart and fill the emptiness inside of me with His abounding love. 

Little by little the feeling of hopelessness crept in like a thief that was stealing the purity of my youth.  It was closing its stranglehold around my soul, which caused me to doubt myself and wonder what tomorrow held as a consolation prize for my hardened heart.

Peace ebbed away and fear took its place, because I knew where my soul would spend eternity if I were to meet my maker in the rebellious state that I was in.

The teachings of Mom and Dad kept reappearing in my minds eye; the teachings about God and His love and about Jesus who died on a cross for my sins.  I kept suppressing these thoughts in that they revealed the true condition of my existence.  I was lost without a Savior, and I refused to see this truth.  The shock of reality was too much to bear so I censored it.

Things were at their lowest and it was impossible to dig myself out of the mire of sin that was pulling me downward like quicksand.  My mental state sunk to a dangerous low even though I had a new car, a wallet full of money, and girlfriends.  Wine, women, and song was my anthem, until thoughts like, “Is this all there is to life?” kept repeating itself again and again in my mind.

I felt that all hope was gone, because I had spurned God’s love one too many times and trampled Him underfoot, having gone beyond the limits of His love.  These were the lies Satan was feeding me.  In essence he was saying, “Nasty is as nasty does.”

The devil kept repeating the following words over and over and over in my befuddled mind; “You are unclean and unworthy of God’s mercy.”  But God loved me so much, even in the sinful state I was in, that He gave His only Son to die for my sins.  He loved me before I first loved Him.

Jesus was waiting patiently for me to realize my need of a Savior.  I felt the gentle coxing and wooing of the Holy Spirit encouraging me to go the way of the Lord where the power of God would set me free from the bondage of sin.

In my mind’s eye I saw an old, antique balance scale.  On one side were the things that Satan offered me (the life I was living), and on the other side were the things of God (peace, joy, happiness, and hope).  There was no question as to which side outweighed the other—God’s unmerited love.  I wanted God!  I was at a crossing point in my life.

Nothing I could have done in myself could ever merit God’s love, because I was nasty and unclean.  My righteousness was as filthy rags in the sight of God, but He loved me unconditionally; just as I was; a sinner.  

Suddenly a Bible scripture that I learned in Sunday school, as a child, came back to mind and replaced Satan’s words of hopelessness.

(Matthew 6:33), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

I finally realized that everything in my life usurped God’s authority and position.  He wanted to be placed first on the list of my desires, and not last.  I cannot explain the miracle that took place in my heart; I just give thanks for it. Since my conversion I have learned that there is nothing more important to the heart of the Father than humanity.

When I look around and see nasty people, I proclaim, “There but for the grace of God goes I.”  I am nothing more than a sinner saved by grace.  He changed me into the person I am today, because I came to Him just as I was with all of my hang-ups and questions.  He did the rest.  He set me free.  No more, “Nasty is as nasty does.”

(2 Corinthians 5:17), “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

Written by,

Papa Boyd