Kindheartedness is a wonderful virtue to have. In my opinion, it runs in the same vein as
godliness. It is the mother lode of
compassion that God desires that we have for one another.
A person can search the deepest depths in the earth or dredge streams
and rivers to find the riches of this world, but kindheartedness is the one
possession that is more cherished than gold, silver and precious stones.
God must have loved me a lot to orchestrate the meeting with a young
woman I was to marry. It was better than
winning the Lottery, though I never play the game, because it is too chancy to
throw my hard earned money away.
Meeting my helpmate for life was not by chance; it was ordained of
God. It all began with a phone call. At the crossroads of conversation is where
our paths met.
A dear friend of mine gave me the telephone number of a single lady that
attended her church. My friend was known
as, “Queen Cupid,” because she had been instrumental in several successful
marriages already and now was working her God-given ability in my behalf.
When I called the girl’s number, she had already been forewarned that I
might be calling, via my friend. I was
pleasantly surprised and found that we had many things in common. I was taken aback when she told me that she
knew who I was since she was 13 years old; she was 22 when I called.
When I was sixteen I sang in a gospel quartet and from time to time would
sing to an auditorium filled with young people.
The gatherings were called, “Eye Rally’s” that were sponsored by a
Christian organization for youth in the area.
It was at these rallies that she noticed this tall, curly headed boy
singing for the Lord.
We talked for about 45, enjoyable minutes. When I got off the phone I said to my dad, “I
think I found the one I’ve been looking for.”
I fell in love with her beautiful spirit. It was like a magnet drawing us together.
We were married six months later and she confessed that she was smitten
with me as a teenager and hoped that one day our paths would cross. Go figure.
Could that be God?
She is kind, thoughtful, and a friend to all, indeed a helpmate that
loves me even with my faults. I am glad
I waited for just the right person that God had for me—God’s best. When we are patient and wait on God, He does
all things well.
God saw that I needed help in bringing out the softer me, the side I
had difficulty showing, because of my personality. Past experiences had left a bad taste in my
mouth that was complex in nature. I was
defensive and shielded my feelings.
My now wife, having an even-keeled character and charming nature, is
teaching me that it is okay to show softness and that I don’t have to worry
about people taking advantage of me.
This newfound temperament is helping me to tear down protective walls
that I had built around my emotions.
My helpmate demonstrates the positive side of kindness, which is
rubbing off on me slowly, but surely. I
believe this is the reason God created woman to come alongside her man to help
the Lord guide “hardheadedness” in the right direction.
The idiom, “Behind every great/successful man there stands a woman,” is
certainly true in my case. A man’s
success often depends on the work and support of his helpmate.
My wife, for the most part, is long-suffering and patient. She has to be to put up with me at times, but
I’m coming around little by little. I am
finding that the softer side of me is a more enjoyable behavior to show
others. Christians are to let people see
the nature of Christ in all things. With
her help this is happening.
She is the jewel, a priceless gem that God had just for me. I am blessed to have her in my corner, at my
side, and behind me lending support in decision making, raising children, producing
Godly influence through her prayers, while making it easier for me to show her
and others love.
I believe that a helpmate’s Spirit-led wisdom strengthens the wisdom of
the man and vise versa. The blending of
my wife’s wisdom with my wisdom is an optimistic way to live. We make a good team even though our
personalities are totally different. Our
relationship works, because she undergirds my weaknesses.
(Proverbs 18:22) “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and
obtains favor from the Lord.”
I have learned through the years that giving to my mate is not a 50/50
proposition; it is the giving of 100%. It
takes time for some people to grasp the meaning of coexisting with the opposite
sex in marriage, especially if either party has a strong personality. Love flows in our household, because God is
head of our commitment to one another.
Perhaps you are a person that feels you have all the answers and refuse
to listen to what other people have to say.
There is nothing wrong with being strong-minded and strong-willed, but
no one individual has all the answers all the time. There is safety in council. It makes sense to listen and then proceed
with caution.
(Proverbs 11:14) “Where there is no counsel, the people fall;
but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Learning to blend ideas with our spouse and focusing on ideas
presented, without balking to harshly, make for a peaceful environment in the
marriage, which promotes reliance in one another.
Though I still find it hard to listen at times, I’ve discovered if I
close my mouth, my wife’s input is solid and God-inspired, because she is a
praying woman.
Things don’t always have to go your way. Cut the other person some slack; remember, “Rome
1 + 1 = 2 … Two minds are better than one, yet God’s equation is 1 + 1
= 1. Woman completes man and man
completes woman, which equals a whole.
Two become as one.
I have to agree with God’s math, because two people becoming one flesh
in spirit and mind is better than two remaining unmovable, refusing to listen
to the other part of the equation. When
you have found the missing piece to make you complete, that certain sole mate that
God has for you, things just add up.
“It’s not working,” you may say.
Give it time and allow God to work on them and you as well. Prayer changes things. Whether you are male or female and reading
this, don’t be so hardheaded that you refuse to let the Lord do what He does
best—harmony united with peace. There is
always room for improvement on both sides of the relationship… just my thoughts
for today.
Written by,
Papa Boyd
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