It’s amazing to me how many marriages are ending up in divorce courts. Divorce is on the upswing like never before. The sanctity of marriage is under constant bombardment from outside influences that are tearing families apart.
Undisciplined, immoral living, when allowed to dominate better judgment, is also to blame for problems in the home. Even church-affiliated people can suffer devastating blows from untamed thoughts that stimulate desires to disobey God’s laws. We must put on the Whole Armor of God spoken of in (Ephesians -18) to help resist attacks from Satan.
People that are unhappy in marriage are finding pleasure on websites that are inappropriate for viewing; including chat sites that produce delusions of belonging and a feeling of being needed. People that visit these sites are looking for love in the wrong places. Commitment, fidelity, honor, dedication, and true love, are becoming a thing of the past. They are being stolen away by the devil, the enemy of our soul.
Integrity is slipping out the back door faster than love can be manifested at the front door when a spouse comes home. Wedding vows are becoming less and less important. “Till death do us part” is on the decline in marriages that have lost sight of these five words. The Americans for Divorce Reform, estimates that close to 50 percent of marriages in the United States
Courting, marriage, and the honeymoon are all wonderful, but for many naïve couples these ventures are only the beginning of the rest of their life together. Early retirement into marriage sometimes settles in when the honeymoon is over. The attitude and actions that a person exudes presents problems. A non-verbal attitude can say, “Now that I’ve got them I can relax and be myself.” If this warped thinking is catered to, it won’t be long before problems manifest themselves.
When a person retires into marriage, the notion of having to prove oneself or putting their best foot forward often loses momentum and falls by the wayside. When kicking back in the marriage, as it were, the result often entails taking the other person for granted. A disconcerted and flustered existence with one another soon emerges, because the excitement and challenges are becoming stale and trite.
A man and woman must keep the spark in their marriage alive. This spark ignites intimacy and passion; otherwise, the marriage can become a 3D marriage—a 50/50 chance of surviving. It takes working together and keeping communication open.
A 3D marriage is when a husband or wife becomes Disappointed in their marriage, which breeds Discouragement, and then ulcerates into Disinterest. There is a forth D that can result in the Dissolution of a marriage, which then becomes one of the sad statistics of a broken home.
A relationship can spiral downward if efforts to stimulate each other’s emotions are not ignited and set aflame once again. Keeping a marriage filled with contentment and satisfaction is most important and certainly needed. There is no reason that a marriage should become a 3D marriage. All it takes is seeing the other person through eyes of courtship; remembering to respect and treat them with honor; like you want to be treated.
The wife can be the saving grace of a marriage. They have the power to keep the fire burning and the relationship fresh and exciting. The majority of men are inherently visual, while some women are more passive regarding sexual fantasies, though women can be quite spirited and sexually motivated, depending upon their state of mind. Men must show tenderness and admiration at all times, which will encourage a better frame of mind in their better half.
A man is stimulated sexually by merely looking at his wife’s nude body, or thinking of what exciting things might take place in bed tonight, more so than the reverse is true. Women have many things on their mind that make up their world of activities, responsibilities, and obligations.
Sex is only one part of these important things in their life, and in some marriages can become second or even third place to other matters. Making love can easily fall within the same parameters as being a responsibility; being on the same plane as duties, if a wife is not appreciated and shown love by her husband. The sooner a man realizes this, the better off he will be not only sexually, but every other way.
A woman may fail to recognize the three needs of their husband. They are: the need to feel important; the need for food; and the need for sex…not necessarily in this order. As I have stated, communication is key. Every couple must strive to not allow a communication gap to separate their love from one another. Without communication, a failed marriage is imminent. Al Scalpone, a professional commercial-writer, said it well: “A family that prays together stays together.”
(Ephesians 5:22, 25, 28, 33), “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” vs.25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” vs.28 “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” vs.33 “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
When I married my wife, our pastor read from the “love chapter” in the Bible. We have endeavored to show respect and love to each other for forty years now, and have kept the 3D’s from finding a foothold in our marriage. It takes two people pulling together in the unity of love to maintain a successful relationship in the institution of marriage.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8&13), vs.4 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;” vs.5 “does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;” vs.6 “does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;” vs.7 “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” vs.8 “Love never fails…” vs.13 “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Written by,
Papa Boyd
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