Earlier in life I questioned why my parents didn’t have one more child after me. I was the last of four children born to a mom and dad that were up in years when I “happened” along. Perhaps this was the reason they stopped when they did.
The sister closest to me in age is nine years older; the other sister is eleven years. My brother is the oldest, being thirteen years my senior. Both sisters were married at the age of sixteen, and my brother eighteen.
As a child growing up it was hard finding a common bond or strong cord to bind us together as a unit, because of the age difference. Though my siblings loved me, I didn't experience the camaraderie that the three of them had growing up together. By the time I was old enough to communicate they were busy doing their own thing and married before I had a chance to really know and appreciate them. Nevertheless, I grew up alone.
My quiet nature and solemn independence developed early in life, because I spent much of my childhood inside the four walls of our home in Martinez , California . I learned how to adapt and maintain my sanity as a recluse in my world of pretend. I suffered with chronic illnesses, which made it necessary to remain indoors. Coping with unfair disappointments were frequent.
Mom spoiled and loved me like a mother does, but that wasn’t enough in itself. There was much that a boy my age needed to experience…mainly how to connect with other people. I knew how to connect with God in prayer, because my faith as a child was strong.
Dad believed in laying hands on the sick and saw God miraculously heal those that he prayed for. He had a lot of practice with me. I knew when Mom or Dad prayed for me that I would be okay. I was familiar with the power of prayer, because I experienced healing first hand.
I have always been a little inward and standoffish; hard getting to know, because of my backward nature. At times my personality has been misunderstood as being unfriendly and having a non-caring attitude. Perhaps this was true at times, but for the most part, I had learned to adapt and deal with life one day at a time, because people were not a part of my world as a child.
It wasn’t until recently that I experienced what it felt like to open up to my siblings and let them into my inner sanctum; to allow them to know me. In doing so I realized the beauty that family ties held for me personally. I must say that it feels pretty good. It’s nice having siblings to call and email.
I see them as friends and not strangers. I know I can count on them when times are bad, and they can count on me. It’s strange when I think of our relationship now, in our golden years, how it has blossomed and developed into something meaningful. I feel saddened when I think of all the years that I didn't have them in my life, because of my lack of effort to connect.
Though we don’t see each other that often, there is awareness and closeness felt when we do. I no longer hold ill feelings toward our parents for raising me without a younger brother or sister to play with. I have found the joy of what it means to appreciate family. My siblings and I have a common love-bond—a strong cord, which cannot be broken.
If you have issues with a sibling, resolve your differences. It will be too late if they pass from this life unexpectedly. Forgive them; love them; cherish them; while there is yet time. You don’t want any regrets later. Be the bigger person even if you are younger than they. Make a sincere effort toward reconciliation. You won’t regret it.
(Matthew 5:9), “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
(Ephesians 4:31-32), “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” vs.32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
(Colossians 3:12-13), “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;” vs.13 “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
(Matthew 18:21-22), “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ ” vs.22 “Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’ ”
Written by,
Papa Boyd
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