Forgiveness is Sometimes Hard



There are many selfish reasons why some people find it hard to forgive others of wrong doing. Human nature resists the words, ‘I forgive’.  Likewise, asking to be forgiven is equally hard.  The words ‘forgive me’ meet with equal resistance as ‘I forgive’.  Both are sometimes hard to say, because of the supposed repercussions that may follow.

I believe, in part, a huge reason that individuals are reluctant or uncomfortable with giving and receiving forgiveness, is fear itself.  They refuse to become vulnerable, because of the fear of being hurt.  Let’s face it; no-one wants to be taken advantage of as a result of forgiving someone, or asking to be forgiven.  It’s just not in our nature or makeup.     

Whenever protective walls are allowed to fall in the lives of those that erect them, fear is generated, because of fading hope and negative aspirations that are associated with kindness.  They believe if they relinquish self-protection, the probability of being used again is more likely than not.  This fear is not without good reasons.

Forgiveness is sometimes hard to give especially when pain is a concern.  I am sure you’ve been taken advantage of at some point in time.  It is understandable to me why people become gun-shy and resist individuals that are repeat offenders, which creates a certain level of risk that manifests itself when a person exposes themselves to vulnerabilities.

It is wise to seek counsel when dealing with manipulative type personalities rather than having their negative energy rub off on oneself.  We must learn how to counter their misuse of position, relationship, or status, for selfish gain.  It’s wrong of them to finagle and use people, but worse yet, allowing it to happen.  It is sometimes painful being the one always giving and forgiving, or asking to be forgiven, which enables the 'taker' to remain reckless in their pursuit of other easy marks around them. 

It is not good for the taker or the giver if a balance is not established— called tough love.  It is not a fun place to be when allowing others to step on one’s emotions.  In our natural thinking we might say, “Surely, God doesn’t expect me to expose myself to abuse and being misused by others.”  My response to this is with a question:  “What did Jesus say when the people of His day unjustly accused and crucified Him on a cross?”

(Acts 8:32), “…He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and as a lamb before its shearer is silent, so He opened not His mouth.” 

God expects us to forgive others as we have been forgiven by Him, and to love with compassion; without dissimulation or coldness.  We cannot do this of our own volition.  It is only by the grace of God and His strength that we can do these things.  It is not of ourselves, but God in us. 

(Philippians 4:13), “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

God doesn’t expect us to go off half-cocked; naïve concerning the workings of Satan.  The Holy Spirit gives us good sense and wants us to use it; not to be stupid or irresponsible in our dealings with people. 

(Matthew 7:6), “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” 

(Matthew10:14), “And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from you feet.”

It is critical to seek sensitivity, awareness, and wisdom in areas to protect ourselves from being victimized, because of the difficulties we face when attempting to help non-caring, aggressive people, whereas, if we close up our bowels of compassion it ultimately affects our ability to reach out to those that we can help—it’s a fine line. 

It behooves all concerned to guard against becoming callused and unloving.  Shrinking back from giving of ourselves can result in the lack of spreading the good news that Jesus Christ is Lord; separated from those that God desires to touch; though caution is important.  

(1 John 3:17, 18), “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in Him?”  vs.18 “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue; but in deed and in truth.”

The keys to compassionate giving is having the ability to remain lovable, maintain a good attitude, and remain open to the need at hand, while expressing kindness.  The reservations experienced when helping others are many, but we are more than conquerors through Christ. 

It helps to focus upon the life of Jesus when He walked amongst people that reviled and rejected Him.  He traveled to places where meeting the needs of people and sharing the kingdom of God to sinners was the bottom-line purpose for His coming to earth.  Compassion would not allow Him to turn His back on those having problems.

If anyone should feel justified in not forgiving others, it is Jesus.  For all the good He did for others, yet at the end of His ministry they repaid Him with a miscarriage of justice.  He was rejected as being the promised Messiah who was prophesied would come.  They lied about Him, mutilated His body, and then hung Jesus on a cross to die.

A compassionate and caring God, the God of all creation, loved humanity so deeply that He took upon Himself human flesh and died for mankind.  They called Him Jesus.  God’s love has not diminished; He wants to forgive humanity and point them toward the path of righteousness.  Even in the last moments of life, the Lord lifted His head and said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

God, in Jesus, died to purge the world of sin.  He doesn’t hold grudges and will never walk away from people that continually use, scorn, and reject Him.  He strives to reach needy people.  God continues giving and giving, because He cherishes those that finally swallow their pride to ask Him for forgiveness.

The Lord forgives and forgets sinful deeds that people have done.  He does not resist their cry for help.  This should be a lesson to us all; go the extra mile and know that God is pleased when we give a cup of cold water in the name of Jesus. 

(Matthew 10:42), “And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.”   

(Matthew 25:34-40), “Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:’ ”  vs.35 “‘for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stronger and you took Me in;’ ” vs.36 “‘I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ ” vs.37 “‘Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when saw we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink?’ ” vs.38 “‘When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You?’ ” vs.40 “‘And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me’ ”

The dividends will amaze you when our Father in heaven touches people through your efforts.  You will be the bigger person for giving of yourself; following the example of Christ.  The rewards will come when we put into practice God’s commandment to love.  Though forgiveness is sometimes hard, we are to express a spirit of humility and love through the compassion of forgiveness.

(John 15:17), “These things I command you, that you love one another.”

(Ephesians 4:32) “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

(Matthew 18:21-22), “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?’ ” vs.22 “Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’ ”

Written by,

Papa Boyd