I remember, years ago, attempting to find satisfaction by doing things and going places that were not conducive to mind, body, and spirit. The places I frequented did not typify a wholesome, decent, or respectable environment. The surroundings reeked with cigarette smoke and the stench of booze. These establishments separated me from my money as they poured another drink; unconcerned for my wellbeing or best interest.
I experimented with sinful things that filled the devil’s toy box, which offered a numbing sense of satisfaction, though never a lasting high. It was desperate attempts to escape the drudgeries of life. I needed something real, yet tangible, to help me cope with unhappiness, but I was looking in all the wrong places.
I tried hopelessly to find contentment. It seemed as if the weariness of life followed me wherever I went. With every effort I failed miserably in finding satisfaction. Things just left me wanting more.
My poignant existence reminded me of the song that Mick Jagger sang with The Rolling Stones rock band; released in the United States
Relationships happened, but satisfaction was temporary; leaving me unfulfilled and empty. I was searching for something, not knowing what I was searching for. It was like the movie, “Groundhog Day.” I pillowed my head at night only to wake up the next morning to the same events over and over again; nothing new to add to my collection of experiences; just a dull ache for more.
Everything I tried was futile in providing lasting joy. I felt lonely and disconnected from truth, with disparaging thoughts of, “Is this all there is to life?” I’m amazed at how many people, like me, are looking for truth; yet remain blind with eyes wide open, though the answer is right in front of them. I believe the problem is their ‘refusal to see’ that keeps them in darkness.
I knew there was a God somewhere, but I was not willing to separate myself long enough from worldly pleasures to find where He lived. Day in and day out I continued my journey trudging down the same old disappointing, unsatisfying, and unproductive road that led to destruction.
When all else failed in bringing purpose to my depressed state of mind, out of desperation I turned to Jesus. To my surprise He was standing in front of me all the time. I didn’t have to search high and low, nor did He expect me to pretty myself up for Him.
I came as I was with all of my hang-ups and questions, and Jesus received me with open arms. He was patiently waiting for me to come to my senses and realize that things cannot bring lasting happiness or peace; only God, through Jesus Christ, can do this.
When all else failed, God didn’t. When all else failed, God’s grace was sufficient to meet my needs. When all else failed, Jesus gave me life and that more abundantly through the blood He shed on Calvary ’s cross; dying for my sins.
I was blind, but now see; lost, but now found; bound, but now free. I found what I was looking for; Jesus, the Son of the Living God.
God loves you! He may not approve of things you are doing, but I guarantee He is waiting for you to open your heart’s door to His love. Do you hear Jesus knocking?
(Revelation3:20), “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”
Written by,
Papa Boyd
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