What About Me

A wise man, rich in years, once told me that there are two kinds of people—givers and takers.  He was reminiscing past acquaintances that crossed his path and the ventures that he encountered riding the rails from Illinois to California as a boy.

My friend was a survivor, having run away from an orphanage at the age of thirteen; on his own in a big world.  The lack of adult supervision and love influenced his ability to make wise choices in his youth, which brought heartache and loneliness. 

Self educated and confident in his own abilities to “get along,” he made his way through life doing just that, getting along by whatever means necessary.  He used and manipulated people to such a degree that when they saw him coming they turned and went the other way.  They were tired of being used and taken advantage of.

Whatever it took to make it in life, he did; caring little about the effects his antics had on others.  He was out for one person and that person was himself.  He was a taker and good at what he did.  But his lifestyle was not without pain.  It was one of emptiness and sadness—alone in a crowd.

It wasn’t until he met someone who was very important, with power and position, that change took place in his life.  This person’s powerful influence on my friend’s life caused him to restructure his value system starting with his own personality.  He changed from the taker that he was to a giver.  He found that by giving away from himself rather than taking, it brought dividends more wonderful than anything he had experienced here to fore.

He now walked with contentment and peace, knowing that this newfound friend had given him a precious gift, the knowledge that it is more blessed to give than to receive.  Freedom from the curse of taking can be achieved when any person opens their mind and heart to the same person that helped my friend to change.  His name is Jesus, God’s only begotten Son. 

The world is in a sad state of affairs, literally crying out for help.  Jesus helps us to look beyond our own station in life to see the needs of others and then doing something about it.  My friend found the joy that giving brings.  He learned to love people without dissimulation or ulterior motives.  This changed man considered others before his own needs; a new life that he was experiencing in his golden years.

We can liken a person that’s a taker to that of a demanding, self centered child that thinks only of their own desires first, and placing heavy demands on most everyone around them.  Their natural born instinct is self preservation.  “Drop everything and come running!” is their cry.  You know what I’m talking about.

We endeavor to please and satisfy their immature behaviors, because we understand that it is just their nature of being a child.  They don’t know any better; but when does immaturity fade and maturity show up?  When an adult acts this way, something’s wrong.  They are either mentally unstable or they have learned to take.

There are those that struggle with this concept of growing up and maturing.  Giving vs. taking is a problem for them.  They have not yet matured in their thinking and sometimes never do.  Much like a child, they expect everything to revolve around the world they have created for themselves.  Though adults, they seldom give from themselves to others.  If they do, it is with an ulterior motive in mind.  They are not happy unless they themselves are at the center of attention. 

An example of this is when another person is recognized and honored for their achievements, without fail, the self-centered person creates some kind of commotion to draw the attention away from the other person to them.

I believe in some cases these people are not aware of what they are doing, because they have lived their whole life expecting and having people cater to their emotional needs.  They believe the sun rises and sets in their backyard only. 

They may take on the appearance of being sensitive and sensible, but they carry their feelings on their sleeve.  Their attitude is like the following statements:  “What about me?”  “Doesn’t anyone care what I’m going through?”  “What about my needs?”  These people feel alone when facing any kind of dilemma; not able to cope without someone intervening on their behalf. 

Takers are quick to pass judgment and most often cast snide remarks in the direction of others with whom they feel have offended them or rejected their company.  Loved ones and friends are not immune from this type of behavior.  In fact, they are usually on the receiving end of unpleasant situations, or I should say, giving end.  It’s all about the taker’s needs and how everyone has wronged them. 

They fail to recognize that they are to blame for the predicament they found themselves in, but they cast blame on others when in fact the problem lies with them.  They expect friends and family members to stop what they are doing and come running to their rescue, and if they fail to respond to “the call” all hell breaks lose. 

When conversing with others, the conversation is quickly directed to center around the negative happenings in their neck of the woods.  These near-sighted individuals only see what’s happening within their own four walls, while refusing to look out the window.  They fail to recognize that others around them may be hurting in their own world of trials and tribulations.  The focus of their vision is only on their own misfortunes; never seeing the needs of others. 

When people fail to jump through the hoops that the taker placed in front of them, or they refuse to dance to the music that was devised and orchestrated, disappointment and anger fester on the part of the taker.  Contempt wells up within their bosom and reigns supreme.  They never look into anyone else’s yard.  They choose not to see beyond their own world of calamity, while expecting others to cater to ungodly actions and unconscionable demands, just like a spoiled, immature child.

Takers that are angered, because they feel that someone has abandoned them in their time of crisis, need to stop and look at how often they themselves failed to take advantage of opportunities to minister to someone else’s need.  They should ask themselves these questions:  “How many times have I knocked on my neighbor’s door that met with misfortune?”  “How many times have I neglected to make that phone call to encourage someone that lost a family member or close friend?”  “How many times have I visited a widow that lost her husband; now struggling to make ends meet?”  “How many times have I visited someone in prison?” 

To this person’s way of thinking it’s always the other person that has shafted or turned their back on them.  The problem doesn’t lie with others, it’s in the heart of the one that is always expecting others to do for them—the taker. 

I respectfully submit the following paragraphs of advice, from a person that was also a taker; namely me.  After I became a Christian I found it more fulfilling to give than to receive.  The Lord is my strength and the reason I was able to turn over a new leaf four decades ago.

My first suggestion would be this:  Wake up!  The world doesn’t revolve around you or anyone for that matter!  Though we live in this world, the people in it are not obligated to lend a hand if they don’t want to.  Freedom of choice is ours to make.  So choose wisely the best ones that are right for you, but if they turn out to be the wrong choices, quit blaming everyone else for your blunders.  Stop expecting loved ones and friends to always show up at your “doorstep of problems” with a bouquet of flowers. 

Never forget, the actions that a person exerts will influence people, and people remember how they were treated.  Stop looking down your nose at them when they are not standing in your corner at all times.  Perhaps they had a previous engagement or commitment.  Keep it up and one day you may look around and find that you are truly standing all alone. 

Grow up and mature.  Learn to give away from yourself for a change.  Quit being a taker that perceives that everyone forsakes and abandons you when trouble knocks at your door.  Stand up for yourself by facing your problems head on, and make the necessary adjustments to your lifestyle that will ultimately change ongoing hurt that always follows you. 

Stop pulling friends and family down; using them up like toilet paper and then discarding them like the weekly trash when they don’t measure up to your expectations.  Chances are if you persist in this channel of behavior, friends may take flight saying, “Enough is enough!”  Stop for a moment and look closely into the mirror and realize that you need to change; and can do so if you so desire. 

You can redirect your thinking and personality to become a giver rather than a taker.  The Lord will help you.  You don’t want to end up with nothing, standing in life’s corridor alone.  Though you may have a bundle of money stashed somewhere, and able to purchase all the toys that money can buy, nothing can buy true happiness.  Without friends you will be of all people most miserable; living a pitiful existence.  You will be alone with only your toys to talk to. 

Redirect negative thinking and negative energy southward.  Place them under the heel of your foot and make a brand new resolution to refocus your vision off of your own circumstances and begin giving away from yourself.  Try it!  When you can do this, healing has a way of finding your address and bringing with it abundant living.  When you begin putting out your own fires that you started, rather than expecting everyone else to come along side and put them out for you, maturity finds its way to your house.

How one realizes that they are becoming a giver and not remaining a taker is when they exercise prudent thinking in their daily walk; disciplining self to see what’s happening around them; and standing ready to give a helping hand if needed.  Guarding against a selfish nature that wants to creep into daily living and steal the abundant life is a sure sign that maturity is coming into focus. 

As I grow older I look around and see senior citizens that grumble and complain about everything, having never found peace in well doing.  I do not wish to become as they; still having immature thinking in the area of self-absorption; expecting everyone around to bow to their every whim, and then complaining whenever the notion hits them, which is most of the time for takers. 

This unrestrained conduct is child-like behavior.  Pouting and throwing a tizzy until others make it right are traits of immaturity.  Even though a person is up in years, the childish antics that posses them is simply their refusal to change from the taker they have become to a giving person. 

I don’t know about you, but for me, I am going to strive with all that is within me to grasp hold of life before it passes, to become more of a giver than ever before.  We can all use help in the area of forgiveness and expectation of others by growing up and becoming thicker skinned so that others can stop tiptoeing around us. 

Let’s quit passing judgment and come back to, “Everyone is created equal.”  We can choose our station in life.  So let’s choose it.  All we need do is look through the eyes of Jesus and we will see more clearly how we can change our way of living to become a vessel that is pleasing to Him and more willing to give.  When we have done this, we will walk in newness of life.

(1 John 4:4), “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 

(1 John 4:7), “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.”

(Philippians 4:13), “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”



When Mountains Crumble

It’s always a mental and spiritual challenge when facing misfortunes and adversities of any kind.  When life takes an unexpected turn towards discomfort and pain, or a particular hardship reaches out and touches a loved one or close friend, it is unnerving to sit along side a hospital bed holding a non-responsive hand that is weak from the hard journey they’ve endured.

A one word question “Why?” cries out for answers that will satisfy the aching heart of the one asking the question.  When a searching mind tries to understand why calamity has invaded their world of serenity, more times than not, fear of the unknown is present. 

To hear words like, “Fear is the absence of faith,” is a statement that presents a negative connotation rather than being supportive to the one striving to understand what is happening around them; the one who is trying to put the scattered pieces of the puzzle into their rightful place so that clarity of the picture can be seen. 

This unnecessary statement upsets the balance of the natural process of trying to comprehend the situation at hand, while attempting to grasp the “What ifs” that are bombarding their mind.  I have heard this statement spoken, whereas, it should never have been made at all!

It is most difficult for others that are not as close to the mountain of heartache to understand the gravity of emotions and underlying sensations that accompany adversity.  Unless they have walked a similar road, true empathy cannot prevail.  Having traveled parallel roads certainly lends help when searching for words to console and uplift a distraught individual that is in the midst of shadows and dark clouds. 

I believe that we can more readily show love and compassion to someone else when we have tasted the bitter dregs of disappointment and pain that have touched our own world.  We know the words of encouragement and comfort that are needed. 

We should make ourselves available and not fear to come along side of those that are in need of a shoulder to cry on, or a firm support to lean against.  The one we help today may be the very person that provides strength and support when we need it most.  Are we not all striving to make it through life the best way we know how?  For this we need one another.  It’s comforting to hear words like, “I’m here for you!”

Caution is the word that speaks to my heart about closing up my bowels of compassion.  (1 John 3:17-18), “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?”  vs.18 “My little children let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” 

Those on the outside looking in on another person’s world-of-hurt must hold onto faith for that individual whose faith may be wavering.  Fear of the unknown; fear that is trying to consume and take away their faith is always present in times of trouble.  We who are strong in faith must hold up the arms of those that may be struggling in those areas of the unknown.

(2 Corinthians 1:3-4), “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,” vs.4 “who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

When we pray an intense, intercessory prayer on behalf of others, we may not realize or see immediate results to these prayers, but this does not mean the battle is lost.  We know Jesus is sitting at the right hand of God the Father making intercession for you and me, because He is touched by our needs.

In the spiritual realm are battles that are being fought continually.  The forces of good and evil are contending for our very soul.  Just because we cannot see the battlefield and the warriors coming together does not negate the reality of what is taking place. 

(Hebrews 5:16), “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  God is concerned about every area of our life and wants to minister to all of our needs according to His riches in glory. 

(Matthew 18:19), “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.”  vs.20 “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” 

This is the promise from God to us.  It is His good pleasure to heal our bodies when healing is needed.  It pleases Him to stretch forth His merciful hand to calm the troubled sea around us. 

It is God’s will to set mankind free that are held captive by sin.  He delivers them through the righteousness of His Son Jesus.  (John 8:36), “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” 

As children of God we have the ability and power within us to not only change the very destiny of time itself, but to influence all of Heaven when we join our voices together in prayer on behalf of others.  The Holy Spirit and those praying are the majority.  There is no greater power than God’s power.  He has the final say. 

The most precious thought is this; even though He is all-powerful and the Most High God, when we cry, “Abba Father,” meaning “Daddy,” He listens to our cry and moves to meet our need, just as we hear and act upon our children’s cry for help. 

When God speaks, the insurmountable mountains in our life crumble before us, because of His love.  Answers to questions come into view.   God has provided the means of prayer, through Jesus Christ, for humanity to connect with the supernatural, thus, being able to move the hand of God; even to change the mind of God.

With this knowledge, we continue in faith and join together with those of like faith to lend spiritual arms of support that under gird and help strengthen the wavering faith of those in the midst of trials.  These who are standing together making up the hedge of faith have a duty to one another, of not giving up.  They must endure and believe God for the miracle that is needed so desperately. 

As a part of the body of Christ we are obligated to the other parts of Christ’s body that need assistance so that the need will be ministered to.  When the body comes together in faith and unity it is the uniting of this faith in God that moves the mountains of unbelief; causing them to crumble.  When we obey (Romans 12:1) there is no limit to what God can do through us. 

(Romans 12:1), “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.”

Written by,

Papa Boyd

When the Bottom Drops Out

Life is like a cardboard box, stuffed full of precious items and unimportant things, until the breaking point is reached.  Without warning the bottom drops out and everything that you hold dear, including the non-essential, dispensable junk, fall to the hard ground.  This creates anger that is accompanied with exasperation and disappointment.  The question, “Why?” is asked as the contents shatter before your eyes.

Like the box, when a person overburdens their life with non-important things like trying to satisfy selfish desires, the most important assets such as wife or husband, children, job, church and God, get lost in this box they have created for themselves. These assets are shuffled around as though they are the least important things in life.  The “Priority Factor” has been lost in the shuffle that is essential for true success to exist in all areas of living.  Important things take second place to the expendable junk; playing second fiddle.

A cardboard box is constructed with tape, staples or glue that holds the sides and bottom flaps in such a way that it gives support and security to its content.  As long as the box is not subjected to overburdening by subject matter, and creating undue pressure to the point of failure, the contents are kept safe.  Stress is created when an excessive load for which the box was not designed is placed within the box.  With sides bulging and bottom sagging, it submits to the law of gravity—design failure takes place.

Such is the makeup of men and women that try to mix worldly things with wholesome possessions that God has blessed them with.  God did not design us to be filled with the heaviness of burdensome stuff.  He created us in love, filled us with the ability to show love, and to be loved.  God gave His only Son to die on a cruel, rugged cross that we can be free of heavy burdens.  Sin, the heaviest of all burdens, affects every part of our being.  Its heavy load causes us to suffer strain and pressure to every part that was meant to receive love.  We were not designed to carry such unbearable loads.

The Bible says in (1 Peter 5:6-7), “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”  Like the cardboard box, we can only carry so much without breaking under the load.  It’s wonderful to know that we don’t have to carry those heavy burdens.  We can give them to God.

In humanities pathetic attempts to show themselves and others how strong and self-sufficient they are, if caution is not observed, they may end up with everything that they hold dear at their feet, buried beneath a pile of regrettable, selfish rubble now emptied from their inner being.  The void is so crushing and painful that the biting emotions that follow are incredibly weakening to the point of collapse.

As a person places emphases upon self gratification; the heaping to themselves expensive toys; and pursuing monetary gain; such things can capture one’s thought process.  Complacency intensifies and concern for the most important things begins to fade.  Blindness with its inconceivable blackness claims another victim, while better judgment takes flight, leaving brokenness in its heap.  The blindness is so intense to the things causing the weakness, that when the bottom drops out, their ability to pick up the broken pieces becomes an impossible task, because of the severity of the break.

Attention must be given to what is being packed into our cardboard box called life.  The mingling together of that which is precious with those things that are frivolous can only break us; bringing failure to the box, losing everything; the important things with the unimportant stuff.

Removing the non-essentials from our box and replacing them with the fruit of the Spirit and a vision of what God desires for us enables God to not only pour into our box more of His generosity and blessings, but more of Him.  He reinforces our box, making it more capable of receiving His abundant giving to the point of overflowing. 

When these blessings are pressed down, shaken together and running over, according to (Luke 6:38), people around us reap the benefits.  Our desire to be of assistance increases when helping those who may be suffering from boxes that are about to give way.  A word of encouragement fitly spoken may save an individual from the same fate that we have experienced or almost experienced were it not for the grace of God.

Our loved ones see us in a different light.  We become a new person displaying clarity of vision and soundness of mind, because we learned how to prioritize what is most important.  We now have our priorities in right prospective, because of Jesus. 

Being an example will help others develop a practical and successful strong box for themselves, with God's help.  A word of caution from us can help them see the importance of not placing so much emphasis upon money, fame, or material gain.  Being a friend will help that person realize the goodness of friendship.  You may be the means of saving someone from a devastating collapse in their life by just being their friend and caring enough to share truth in love.

Love, understanding, giving, compassion and friendship are the under girding factors that bring forth life, and that more abundantly.  When we allow God to make ready our fragile boxes with His fibrous tape of love, we need not worry or fear that the bottom is going to drop out.  In Him there is stability and strength.

Written by,

Papa Boyd 

What Kind of Influence

Personalities can be as different as night and day, yet compatible, however, there are personalities that, for whatever reason, clash with each other.  Sometimes it’s very difficult dealing with a strong minded individual that causes a personality clash to occur.  The person dealing with them may feel the urge to come to blows, because of their overbearing ways, which bring out the worst in people.  Though it’s a challenge, the success to good communication begins by not yielding to this urge, or harboring a “get even” frame of mind. 

It’s good for you and me to understand that all relationships are not made in heaven, because people differ in so many ways.  It helps to grasp the significance of learning the art of coping and accepting another person for who they are.  This is the test of one’s intestinal fortitude, with regards to meekness and longsuffering being maintained.  It’s always better to respond with kindness rather than lack of respect.  This practice turns away wrath as stated in (Proverbs 15:1).  “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Everyone has days when they get up on the wrong side of the bed.  You and I can not always know the pressures, influences, and hurts that another person may be going through.  Because of this, we may clash with them, taking up an offence that we should have left at home under lock and key.  We need to step back, take a deep breath, and ask ourselves, “How would Jesus deal with this situation?”  This will help us do the right thing even though it’s hard to swallow our pride at times.

Every person has their ups and downs as well as their ins and outs.  We must look deeper, beyond the hard-to-deal-with personality that clashes with ours.  Wisdom is at work when we realize it could have been the environment they were raised in that is impacting their disposition.  The manner in which they were raised, and by whom, can influence the way they react to people and how they communicate. 

We cannot judge a person by their actions or the words they use until we walk a mile in their shoes.  We may never know what makes them act the way they do, but we don’t have to fall into the same rut that they find themselves by coming down to their level.

People born with a silver spoon in their mouth and raised in a perfect, sterile environment with others catering to their every whim has an influence on personalities, whereas, some people struggle to make ends meet every day of their life.  This too influences a person’s uniqueness.  The many different things that happen to a person can have power over the way they interact with others.

Whether rich or poor, educated or not, the person we are is also influenced by the company we keep.  The people we have known and the influence they had on us, coupled with the attitudes we posses are determining factors of how our personalities are molded and shaped.

Just because bad situations fall our lot does not mean that we are forced or even obligated to yield ourselves to a negative type of attitude and disposition, as some do.  These are the people that usually remain focused on the negative elements that befell them in the past.  They allow these memories to consume their being and dictate what kind of person they are.

It’s these personalities that we must learn to treat with dignity and respect; to afford them the courtesy of interacting gracefully and with honor.  We are the bigger person for it.  We can have a positive influence on them through the kindness we show.

So, the first step in promoting positive communication is to realize that a person’s upbringing and environment play a tremendous part in forming their personalities.   Secondly, how we impact others depends upon our attitude and disposition that we display before them.  We can be the means of helping people change by simply being nice.

Anyone can change with help from others.  Most people having hardened personalities are accustomed to conflict and negative communication with those they have dealings with.  It throws them a curve when respect is offered, with a professional, caring attitude.  With God’s help, their personalities will improve as God uses us to help them change.

I was raised by parents who loved me and wanted the best for me, yet the attitude of my father was such that he failed to teach the value and blessings that family members can be; both immediate and extended family circles.

Dad was a good man; a man of integrity and principles, but he allowed his personality and convictions to rule his better judgment at times, especially when dealing with other personalities around him.  It was his way or no way.  He wore his feelings on his sleeve and was not willing to bend or adjust his thinking for anyone.  He didn’t admit when he was wrong, nor did he have a forgiving spirit.

I am the last of four children born to my parents.  My brother, the oldest of my siblings, is almost fourteen years my senior, while my two sisters are twelve and ten years older.  They all married at an early age, leaving me to be raised alone by our parents. 

I watched and listened as Mom and Dad taught me through word and deed as I grew into adulthood.  I observed my father closely and came to the realization that who he was, I became.  Things that I say and the attitude I posses, mirror Dad’s personality.

Some of these traits I’m trying to overcome.  After becoming a Christian I have been striving to put off a pessimistic and cold hearted type personality that was characteristic in my dad.  Rather than seeing the good in people and adjusting his temperament to sensitive situations, he chose to segregate himself, Mom and me from those he had disagreements with.

I remember as a child Dad writing letters to my siblings telling them of their erring ways, while talking about them and their problems in my presence at home.  He took a hard stand and ceased to visit them until they apologized and cowed to his impetuous rejection.

I learned by his example that family wasn’t important.  How sad is this?  The attitudes with which we act and react to people have an influence on them and those that observe, either in positive or negative ways.

My aunts and uncles were ostracized by Dad if they disagreed with his philosophies.  And again I was segregated from family; not being able to enjoy the pleasantries of cousins, aunts, uncles and a grandma and grandpa on my mom’s side of the family.  Again, how sad is this?  Remember, the decisions we make affect others around us.

I learned at an early age that being alone with my imaginations, philosophies, and inward thinking were more important than being around people that may not share my point of view. 

This was indelibly etched within my subconscious, and I found myself being like Dad.  Realizing these negative areas later in life, I have been striving to rise above pettiness, self indulgence and the temptation of not giving to others or listening to their opinions.  I am trying to listen more and be sensitive to their personalities, while adjusting mine so that communication can flow more easily. 

I’m finding the more I give away from myself, and accept the personalities and differences of others; my own life excels with happiness and appreciation for life.  We can change and be a positive influence to the people around us if we put our mind to it.  God helps us succeed in this area as we allow His influence to mold and shape us into His image.

(Philippians 4:13), “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Written by,

Papa Boyd

Which Are You

Is it night or day?

Is your glass half full or half empty?

Do you wake with a smile or frown?

Do you look from the outside in or inside out?

Do you reach up to touch bottom or is bottom below your reach?

Are you a type “A” or type “B” personality?

Are you long suffering or quick to react?

Are you angry or gentle?

Are you glad or sad?

Are you under a cloud or above it?

Does your mental barometer read fair and clear or overcast and stormy?

Is life always hot and cold or just right?

Are your gears in drive or reverse?

Are you moving forward or backward?

Are you a winner or loser?

Does God control your life or Satan?

Are you good or bad?

Are you blind to sin or do you see?

Are you a giver or taker?

Is your mental state rich or poor?

Are you strong or weak?

Do you have high hopes or low despair?

Are you in or out?

Are you dead or alive?

Are you up or down?

Are things black or white?

Is your door open or closed?

Is the light on or off?

Do you take the stairs or elevator?

Is it smooth or rough sailing?

Is your parking meter full or empty?

Is your signal light red or green?

Is the curb red or green?

Are you a pessimist or optimist?

Are you a procrastinator or doer?

Are you tired or full of energy?

WHAT IS YOUR DAY LIKE?

GOD CAN MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE!

Written by,

Papa Boyd

Why

Why, Jesus, did you allow your brow to be pierced with a wreath of thorns on that dreadful morn so many years ago—a crown fashioned to mock and belittle the true King of Kings?

Why did you say nothing when they ripped your beard from your bruised and bleeding face? 

Why did you not turn and inflect punishment on those responsible for the horrific beating you endured, as you did in the temple when you whipped those that dishonored God’s house? 

Why, Lord, did you allow yourself to be smitten of men and spit upon as though you were a common criminal? 

As the nails were being driven through your hands and feet, what were the thoughts on your mind?  What caused you to hold your tongue and speak no vile uttering? You could have called ten thousand angels—why didn’t you? 

As you were hanging on that grievous cross, suspended between heaven and earth, why did you not prove to everyone around that you were the Messiah by coming off the cross?  You could have spoken the word and you would have been set free—why didn’t you? 

As you were looking into your mother’s eyes, was your heart crushed because of the tears you saw coursing down her cheeks, or was there something or someone else on your mind? 

After suffering for hours, you finally gave up the ghost.  As your side was being pierced with a spear, the questions now ceased with a final, why? 

As the silence became deafening, we hear the answer as it echoes down through the corridor of time, “I did it all for you!”

Written by,

Papa Boyd

Woman

Woman is the opposite of man not only in physical make-up, but emotions, character, sensitivity, and above all, a helpmate given by God to man not only to love, but to walk alongside her man to aid in daily challenges that arise.  She provides a different point of view from her perspective that is needed when making important decisions. 

She has a special knack and instinctive sense that assists her mate with reasoning.  In some situations she provides knowledge that is needed for an intelligent, decisive thought process, thus, strengthening his position as head of the family and provider.  I have read in the Bible that there is safety in council.  This is certainly true. 

(Proverbs 11:14), “Where there is no counsel the people fail; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

We, the men of our households, can become so caught up in our daily tasks of making ends meet that we sometimes lose focus of things that are most important in life.   Our hobbies, buddies, and accumulated toys that we’ve gathered for our amusement and pleasure creep in front of what we hold dear to our heart—our family; finding a higher rank in our prioritizing. 

The woman God gave us, in her desire to help, merely attempts to keep some semblance of order in the home, wanting to pull collectively together with her man toward common goals, while trying to show the art of prioritizing things of most importance.  Problems can occur when we allow our desires to rise above good judgment, which cause snap decisions without consulting our soul mate. 

I am prone to act impulsively upon my premonitions and knowledge, therefore, striving to attain more things that clutter my mind, which makes it even more difficult to put things in right prospective.  I fail, sometimes, to listen to my companion’s point of view and sound advice. 

Our helpmate endeavors to keep us on an even keel.  On occasion when they try to share thoughts and ideas about issues that are pending, she is met with resistance from our predetermined mind-set.  Her comments and suggestions go unheard and unheeded.  A wise man is prudent when they pay attention and not reject what is being offered in love, rather than remaining headstrong and wanting their own way. 

Listening to what is being said and learning to give credence to words softly spoken will allow ourselves to decipher that which she may not be saying out loud, but only thinking.  What we hear, between the lines, may provoke serious changes in habits that we have formed.  These silent words might be saying, “Look at me and your family.  Make us your priority.” 

Time passes quickly—there are only so many hours in a day to enjoy the finer things in life, namely her and the kids.  Our babies grow up too quickly.  Soon they will be gone, making a life for themselves.  It will then be too late to build lasting memories of time spent around the dinner table talking with daddy, and enjoying family activities together. 

I’ve heard it said that it’s not the amount of time spent with a person that matters, it’s the quality.  I beg to differ.  I believe it’s the quantity of time that speaks loudest.  It says, “You are most important to me!  Everything else is secondary!”  We need to make time for our loved ones rather than tossing them the leftover crumbs of our affection. 

When we listen closely to the unspoken words they are actually saying, and we act in love and understanding, the divorce rate in our land will plummet.  Children that are looking for love will find it at home, because both Mom and Dad are there to provide it.

Business transactions that can wait until tomorrow; time spent with buddies and friends; sports, hobbies, and any other thing that steals precious time away from our wife and children are sending messages loud and clear.  This insensitive behavior is saying, “You are not as important to me as you once were!”  Before long they feel taken advantage of and spurned.  The inconsiderate gestures shown to them become unbearable; causing feelings of being taken for granted. 

There is a time and a place for all things, but when husbands fail to act upon the inner awareness that the Holy Spirit is speaking to them, and continue to do their own thing without regard to their spouse’s feelings, these men need to ask this question, “Am I being the total husband and father that God called me to be?” 

What is it going to take for closed eyes and deaf ears to be opened?  It is not too late to show how important our mate and children are to us.  It takes effort on our part.  As we put ourselves in her place, and reverse roll-play our positions, we will feel her aching heart.  We see and know how far we have slipped from the “I Do” that we said to her.

Are we married to our job, the guys we associate with, or the toys that we’ve accumulated?  Have they become more important than the one sitting at home waiting for our return?  How long did we wait to find the right woman to call our own?  Don’t make her wait in frustration, wondering why you have changed.

We are to love our wife as Christ loved the Church.  He showed His love not only in word, but in deed.  He gave Himself unreservedly, because His focus was and still is on His bride, the Church.  Jesus gave His life for her and the sins of all mankind. 

(John 3:16), “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

When we evaluate how far down the list of important things that we have placed our family, and consider what memories that we want to instill in our little one’s that God blessed us with, we will make a choice.  It will either be to continue down the path that we have chosen; making up excuses as to why we must continue down this path; or we can establish new ground rules for ourselves and act upon that which we know is right.

When changes are implemented, friends, toys, and those ongoing hobbies will still be there, but they have found their rightful place in our life, because they were positioned second to God and family rather than first.  When we love our family as Christ loves the Church, many wonderful dividends follow.  What goes around comes around.  We reap what we sow.

(Proverbs 31:10-28) “Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.  She is like a merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.  She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants.  She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.  She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.  She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.  She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.  She extends her hand to the poor; yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.  She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.  Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.  She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

Written by,

Papa Boyd

Full or Half Empty

Some people live their whole life running on half empty.  They never experience the fullness of God’s love, nor the peace He offers, because they made the choice not to.  When a person lacks these wonderful gifts in their life, a gnawing emptiness influences how they view the world around them.  A glass half filled is seen as half empty, rather than half full.  This is generally reflective of the half empty feeling they have.

A person’s state of mind, whether positive or negative, dictates the way they perceive life.  People that live a half empty existence usually associate with other people having similar levels of needs.  The saying, “Birds of a feather flock together,” is a true statement even in matrimony.  

Half empty people that associate with half empty people, as a rule, end up marrying them.  Problems arise when a spouse lacks social skills and mental stability that are needed so desperately in a marriage, especially if they are spiritually bankrupt. 

These limitations or weaknesses are red flags that reveal a person’s makeup and general mind-set, which, on average, are characteristic of people that require professional counseling.  Those with limited capacities are not the most desirable choices when searching for a lifetime companion.  Disappointment lurks around the corner for anyone that chooses an unstable person to marry.

To make any marriage successful takes both parties knowing themselves; realizing what they want to achieve in life; and what steps are needed to get there.  It requires perseverance with God’s help and direction to achieve desired goals.  These qualities in both husband and wife make the partnership most favorable.

A common mistake that people make is to believe they can change another person’s mental outlook.  This misconception can lead to bad decisions, because good judgment takes flight.  The ability to make a difference in other people is limited at best—miracles are God’s business.  A half empty person that wants to influence another half empty person is naïve to think they can do so in their own strength. 

They fail to realize that running on half empty themselves, they cannot afford to give their half to anyone else.  Losing the 50% they have leaves nothing at all to sustain them.  Frustration, anxiety, and nervous disorders follow.

There are people recognized as being enablers that can become misguided individuals if they throw caution to the wind.  Some think they can rescue a social misfit that is not ready to be rescued.  Enablers believe they can help the ne’er-do-well by providing their needs. 

This kind of logic allows those that are running on half empty to continue a lifestyle of mediocrity, rather than finding ways to become full; with purpose.  This drains an enabler of their own delicate wellbeing, because they give and give, yet receive nothing in return.  Seldom are they replenished with the compassion and consideration they have imparted to half empty takers.  The enabler, now empty their self, feels defeated and crushed; but God is still on the throne to give potency when renewed energy is needed.

God is concerned about our state of mind and wants to restore freshness.  All we need do is reach out to Jesus and cast our cares upon Him.  He will take the heavy burdens and carry them for us. 

(1 Peter 5:7), “Casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.”

The solid foundation that is required for building an excellent relationship is not based upon 50/50 giving.  It takes 100% from both parties giving to each other to make a marriage prosperous.  Working at a marriage is the key. 

When diligence is applied to mutual goals, with respect and love for one another, a lasting relationship ensues.  This endeavor provides strength for the hard challenges that lie ahead.  All relationships have troubling times, but when two people have a made up mind to commit 100% of themselves to the marriage, plus allowing God to be Lord of their home, these important factors add up to success and happiness.

Everyone has strong and weak points.  When a married couple shares their strong points with one another and gives their counterpart 100%, they both remain full, because each is giving all they have to the other person; at the same time receiving as much as they give away from themselves.  This act of giving and receiving facilitates weaker areas to become stronger, because two people are pulling together in the same direction. 

When a person invites the fullness of God into their heart, the half empty existence they were living is over.  God fills the emptiness to its full capacity with love and peace.  He provides whatever is needed for making good decisions and informed choices.

When a person is full of God’s Spirit and they allow the Lord to bring another person into their life that is also Spirit filled, the equation looks something like this…(100% + 100% = God’s Abundant Life). 

In a marriage, God uses both individuals working together to help the process of keeping their spouse satisfied.  Neither party drains the other person, because they refuse to live a half empty existence.  They remain full of understanding, kindness, and consideration for each other.  This is accomplished with the help of the Holy Spirit.

(Philippians 4:13), “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

 

Written by,

Papa Boyd