It’s not every day a person finds someone to blend perfectly with. Personalities certainly contrast each other and clash at times. The differing values in people, with variations in likes and dislikes, are some of the governing factors that create the widespread gap between individuals in the way they communicate with one another. Each person has strong and weak points, with good and bad sides.
It’s not unusual to be up one moment and down the next. Such is life. People are human, which accounts for the division in mood, spirit and feelings when facing varying situations or confronting others with differences of opinion. Extenuating circumstances play a part in controlling the temperature level between personalities. These levels range from extreme hot to bitter cold, depending upon the attitudes expressed.
Everyone has themselves to control and conquer regardless of how spiritual they may be or what their background environment consists of. Surrounding influences affect dispositions and sensitivity levels. It’s hard enough living with ourselves rather than taking on another person’s shortcomings. So if you are looking for that perfect someone to work with, call your friend or become that special, significant other—keep looking. Perfection went out with Adam and Eve after they sinned in the Garden of Eden.
There are, however, certain types of personalities to avoid. It is wise to maneuver away from those having extreme levels of incompatibilities, which are readily identifiable most of the time. It’s important to recognize ineptness before getting involved with someone. Use caution and effective measures when dealing with them. Good advice is to leave them alone and look elsewhere for fulfillment.
We rub shoulders with unstable, disturbed personalities every day. They find it difficult to get along with anyone, because of a wide range of idiosyncrasies that are coupled with unreasonable expectations of people. They demand perfection in others, yet are lacking in this area themselves. They are very difficult to please and may even manipulate things to their benefit; thinking only of themselves. Other personalities of a domineering, possessive nature can be real problems in a relationship. Caution is recommended.
Coping with imperfections in others can be challenging and problematic at best, especially when the one pursuing them becomes blinded by love or infatuation. They attempt to accept them for who they are, while making excuses for their behaviors and shortcomings. This may work for some people, but in most cases the results are unpleasant, if not unbearable.
There are those that strive to walk a thin line between impulsiveness and good sense. Dating or living with obsessive, neurotic personalities is like tiptoeing on a tightrope, always having to watch the next step for fear of making the wrong move. It reminds me of trying to stand up in a canoe, mindful to not rock the boat. We know how difficult that is.
It says a lot about a person that is able to adjust to and put up with ongoing pressure. Though love and affection, with tenderness and warmth, are most important when trying to satisfy the needs of atypical people, only God can turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh.
When a ‘peacemaker’ enables the other party to continue in their insensitivities, the enabler finds themselves turning the other cheek, over and over again, while trying to rise above and resolve problems in the relationship. Often they begin to feel like a worn out doormat with all the fabric rubbed off. Constant chaffing begins to take its toll, resulting in hurt and frustration.
Perfectionists, for example, sometimes lack flexibility and remain rigid when dealing with people. Their thoughtlessness, quite often, prevents them from accepting others for the person they are. It’s hard for them to make adjustments, thus, becoming more agitated and miserable with every passing day, while making others around them just as miserable.
Some individuals are naïve and lack common sense when spotting or reading negative characteristics in others. There is a universal notion that personalities and dispositions can be altered or changed if the right buttons are pushed. This is where the rub and chaffing begin, because most people resist change, especially when it differs from the daily routine they are accustomed to living.
An important note to consider is whether or not an individual is acting as though they have changed, but haven’t. Their deception could be a ploy to achieve a pre-planned agenda, whatever that might be, and then backslide into old habits. Time always reveals the true person if patience is adhered to and old fashioned logic is used. My dad called it, “Good ole horse sense.”
If you know someone that demonstrates signs of blindness, and refuses to see someone for who and what they really are, please talk to them. If they are trying to bring them around to their way of thinking, it is rare if not impossible to do so. Encourage them to keep looking for someone that will blend more suitably with their own likes and dislikes. Help them to understand that initiating a campaign to save others from themselves usually proves to be unwise. Manipulative maneuvering, with tactical schemes, doesn’t work on persnickety people. They see right through the plan.
It is important to resist the urge to hurry the process of becoming acquainted. There is nothing worse than getting involved with the wrong person and later regretting impulsive choices and decisions that were made. Patience is golden.
People that enter into relationships with blindfolds in place, refusing to see the other person’s weaker, less desirable side, end up with regrets. It’s too late to say, “Oops!” after the “I do” has been made. The honeymoon usually ends quickly as does the supposed changes they appeared to have made. Reality slaps the visually impaired in the face and makes them realize that they must now sleep in the bed of their own making. Impulsiveness breeds contempt, whereas, patience prevents bondage.
When dating or meeting people, it is wise to talk less and listen more. Quiet people glean information when they are not the one doing all the talking. Rather than focusing on winning the other person’s affection or approval, it is wise to question, observe, and listen to them talk. [Stop—Look—Listen] It’s a great safeguard to live by. Know the person to whom you are drawn, by using the Stop, Look and Listen technique. This allows level headed decisions to be made with confidence.
(St Luke 6:45), “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”
When a person chooses wisely, it lessens the chances for heartache and frustration to raise their ugly heads. Life becomes less troublesome, because peace is manifested, which allows the communication gap to shrink. The blending of mind, body and soul of two people produces a unity of one.
We are precious in the sight of God. He wants us to live an abundant, blessed life without unnecessary anxiety and regrets. (St. John
Wisdom teaches that listening to the voice of God through our inner consciousness, and staying mindful of God’s Word, enriches understanding. (II Corinthians 6:14) “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?”
The common denominator that lasting relationships are built upon is Jesus Christ. He is most important to the success of compatibility. Include God in all decisions, and don’t allow anyone to persuade you in making wrong choices. Be strong and of good courage. Patience will prove to be your saving grace. It’s a wonderful virtue to possess.
Written by,
Papa Boyd
Great word
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